Here at Heat Not Burn UK we do sometimes like to have a bit if fun so we have decided to do our very own all time definitive ANTZ A to Z. We got quite a bit of help from people on Twitter with some of them and we would like to say many thanks for the help to all involved.
This is a light-hearted look into the mindset of the ANTZ (Anti Nicotine & Tobacco Zealot) and should not be taken too seriously.
A is for ANTZ – A person that is very anti nicotine and tobacco, but only the “wrong” kind of nicotine and tobacco, anything by big pharma is fine (patches, gums etc.) because the nicotine in a pharma product is extracted from 100 year old unicorn tears and isn’t that nasty kind of nicotine those filthy vapers and HnB addicts use.
B is for Bobblegom – A flavour very enticing to children, everyone knows that no adults like bubblegum. Same for candy flavours, no adult could possibly like candy flavours.
C is for Children – Used very well to justify hammering adults: WON’T SOMEBODY PLEASE THINK OF THE CHILDREN!!!
D is for Diacetyl – Found in older liquids (no respectable e-liquid manufacturer would use it today) but dragged up every time the ANTZ need a nice scare word.
E is for E.N.D.S – A crazy term used by tobacco control when talking about e-cigarettes (Electronic Nicotine Delivery System.) You can almost feel the spittle when they say it.
F is for Formaldehyde – Some arseholes dry burned the crap out of a CE4 and reported that it produced high levels of formaldehyde. The test was absolutely woeful as it wasn’t done under any kind of normal circumstances, very much a case of tailoring the results to suit the agenda, as always.
G is for Glantz – Absolute f**king lunatic famous for twisting data and lying constantly.
H is for Hysteria – Fake hysteria is a classic tactic used to make something sound a lot worse than it actually is. Americans tend to do fake hysteria a lot better than us Brits.
I is for Industry – Usually the EVIL TOBACCO INDUSTRY.
J is for JUULING – Worse than both crack cocaine and crystal meth causing widespread mythical destruction to THE CHILDREN
K is for Kids – Often abused by being coerced into some smoker bashing photo-op on Twitter. Disgusting behavior.
L is for Luddites – They don’t dislike new technology per se, just these new fan-dangled devices that are actually very effective. Big pharma new tech is absolutely fine of course, even if it doesn’t work.
M is for Money – What it has always been about, because it has never been about health that’s for sure.
N is for No safe level of <insert word here.> – An absolute classic used at every opportunity as a scare tactic.
O is for Onanist – Nasty word used against a Twitter user by someone high up in the ranks at the Faculty of Public Health when he’s at home drunk and on Twitter in his piss stained Y-fronts.
P is for Popcorn Lung – not a single case found in any vaper yet dragged out at every available opportunity even though it’s complete bullshit. There hasn’t even been a case in a smoker either. Originally a disease that affected people working in popcorn factories. It sounds horrendous, which is why the ANTZ love it.
Q is for Quintoxic – Look it up. 😉
R is for Rabid – 1. having or proceeding from an extreme or fanatical support of or belief in something.
S is for Simon Chapman – If there has ever been a man more dangerous to the health of the public we’ve yet to see one. Has never seen an anti-ecig Tweet that he didn’t like.
T is for Tobacco Control – An evil cult that through lies and deception causes way more harm than good. Should be disbanded.
U is for UCSF – Whenever you see anything to do with harm reduction (especially vaping) coming out of USCF discount it as absolute bollocks by default because it will be, as Glantz will have had a hand in it somewhere.
V is for Vacuous – 1. having or showing a lack of thought or intelligence; mindless
W is for We don’t know what the long term effects are – Usually reserved for e-cigarettes, this one gets older and older as every year goes past with zero issues suffered by early-adopters, some from around 2006 when the first ecigs came onto the European market.
X is for Xylene – A word that not many people will have heard of but an absolute trace was found in some analysis so they throw it in for good measure, despite the same levels being found in some blank samples. Still, it’s another one to throw in and it does sound kind of dangerous so get it out there!
Y is for Youth – This is usually defined as anyone under the age of 30. Makes for better fudging of the figures that way.
Z is for Zealots – That is what the ANTZ really are.